Pay Attention!

What do you spend your attention on? Your reality stems from where you’ve put your attention. If I pay a lot of attention to news stories about the kidnapping of children, I’ll see that as a potential threat everywhere. If I pay a lot of attention to my neighbors and my neighborhood and see that not much is going on in the way of kidnapping, I’ll feel safe. Same goes for paying attention to the news about our bad economy. Even if I have a secure job in a prospering industry, if my attention goes to the negative news about the economy, I may end up being afraid of losing my job. It would seem it is much better to spend your attention on your immediate experiences, the place where you can get the truest information for your life.

So what is in your immediate experience? Do you spend all your time and attention on your career or on friends and family? If it’s your career you’ve paid more attention to then your social life may be lacking. Instead of asking: “Why am I lonely?” or “Why can’t I find someone to spend my life with?” you might want to ask: “Where is my attention going?” If your answer is career then you have the answer to the other two questions. If you don’t like your world as it is, know that it can be transformed by changing where you put your attention.

So pay attention to where your focus is and know that is what creates your world. Shift your focus, change your life.

We Paint Our World With Our Emotions

If I look closely I can see that what I’m thinking is being colored by what I’m feeling. Like right now, after reading an article in the paper about the Mayor’s Prayer Breakfast, I find myself thinking that not only is it exclusive, it is also very arrogant and self righteous (ok, I guess I don’t need to look to hard to see what I’m feeling). This prayer meeting included only readings from the Old and New Testaments and Christian prayers. I feel like saying, “How dare they!” Underneath that thought is, obviously, anger. I’m angry because I know there are others in the community who are not Christian, so this Mayor’s Prayer Breakfast excludes a number of people in the community. I’m one of the non-Christians, but I am very spiritual and so I’m hurt that they haven’t chosen a more inclusive program. If I let go of my emotions for a moment I can think of some positive things about the prayer breakfast. For me, it’s good to know that there is a spiritual component to the people in this town. Another good thing is that such a gathering is a way of creating community.

My emotions aren’t only a negative influence, though. I feel upset by this events exclusivity and so that leads me to thoughts about what such an event means in a diverse community. It leads me to wonder if it’s ok that this is a city council event. My emotions can stimulate thought, not just usurp it.

Our emotions add color to our lives. They can also be a guide as to what is really going on inside us. We may try to point to pure reasoning when it’s really emotion that is affecting our thoughts. For instance, people used to think that Africans were subhuman. They thought it was a perfectly logical conclusion, but it was a thought colored by fear. Look closely at what you think. Is there an emotion behind that thought that has created it? Is there any thinking really going on or is pure emotion being spewed. What is your reality and how are you coloring it? You can feel all you can feel, but learn to remain aware of those emotions and what they can do to our ability to think.

Writing Tip:

Knowing how our emotions affect us is also helpful when creating characters. The complexity of human emotion can be employed to create colorful characters and thereby, richer stories. Use books on character types to help you out. So get out your color palate and start layering on the hues.

Through My Eyes Only….To See or Not to See

What’s real when we all have different perspectives? Is there some objective reality out there? And even if there is, does that matter since we each have our own view of reality?

Understanding that we have different perspectives seems especially pertinent when it comes to relationships. Let’s say Amy thinks Jim isn’t paying enough attention to her and Jim thinks they spend too much time together. What’s real? What would other people see? A friend might see that Jim is paying attention and tell Amy that maybe she’s wanting more than is reasonable. The friend might tell Amy to ask for what she thinks she needs instead of just being annoyed. Jim might see Amy as angry and cold. Amy is being cold because she’s hurt, and so tries to manipulate more attention from Jim, but that doesn’t seem to be working.

This is all too complex for me. So what is real, the friends more objective view? The friend’s view can’t be the whole story because they don’t get to see all that goes on between Amy and Jim. Jim and Amy’s views are a problem because their emotions blur their vision and make things even more complex. It’s a miracle we humans cope at all. But we do. We do because of our ability to imagine life from someone else’s perspective. This can open our eyes and clear our vision.

In the case of relationships maybe the question of reality doesn’t matter so much as being able to see through the eyes of the other. When we are open to other points of view, we are expanding our own. This expansion is also a part of a storyteller’s ability to create characters. So practice this in both your writing and in your life. I guarantee things will be less dramatic in your life and more dramatic in your works of art.