Last week I went to my own
memorial service and gave my own eulogy. The service was actually for me and
six amazing women that are my friends and classmates. We are all on a journey
to become Licensed Religious Science Practitioners and the memorial service was
an exercise for the class.
At first none of us wanted to
do it, but in the end it was an amazing experience. It was an opportunity to
reflect and get to know one another better. A big bonus was that many of the
people we invited from the church got to know us in a deeper way as well.
Though I was hesitant at
first I’m glad to have had the opportunity to write my own eulogy and read it
in front of people. One personal benefit was that I realized I was more comfortable
on stage than I thought I would be. And not only did it get me thinking about my
death, it also got me thinking about my life.
When I think about how I will
only be here as this particular person once, I think about how precious my time
and life are. My mortality creates a deadline for me and urges me to live my
life to the fullest. I’m not entirely sure what I believe about reincarnation,
but even if I come back I won’t be Joanne. This life is it as this particular
expression of the Divine.
Mary Oliver asks in one of
her poems: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious
life?” When faced with my mortality this question becomes even more powerful.
But sometimes I start to
think about how I’m now in my forties and haven’t accomplished very much yet. I
begin to rush things sometimes; I am trying to beat a deadline after all.
Fortunately, that deadline
isn’t real. This is where my knowledge that I’m also immortal comes into play.
When I know that my very essence is at one with the All That Is Everything then
I can relax. When I know that some aspect of Joanne continues even after I’m
done here as the particular incarnation I can release my anxiety over having to
accomplish it all now.
I am both mortal and immortal
and this is great news! My mortal deadline helps me stay focused on what it is
I’m here to do and knowledge of my immortality lets me relax about what it is I’m
here to do. Too much pressure brings burnout and being too relaxed diffuses
focus. Knowing both brings balance and hence fulfillment into my life.
