Last week I went to my own memorial service and gave my own eulogy. The service was actually for me and six amazing women that are my friends and classmates. We are all on a journey to become Licensed Religious Science Practitioners and the memorial service was an exercise for the class.
At first none of us wanted to do it, but in the end it was an amazing experience. It was an opportunity to reflect and get to know one another better. A big bonus was that many of the people we invited from the church got to know us in a deeper way as well.
Though I was hesitant at first I’m glad to have had the opportunity to write my own eulogy and read it in front of people. One personal benefit was that I realized I was more comfortable on stage than I thought I would be. And not only did it get me thinking about my death, it also got me thinking about my life.
When I think about how I will only be here as this particular person once, I think about how precious my time and life are. My mortality creates a deadline for me and urges me to live my life to the fullest. I’m not entirely sure what I believe about reincarnation, but even if I come back I won’t be Joanne. This life is it as this particular expression of the Divine.
Mary Oliver asks in one of her poems: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” When faced with my mortality this question becomes even more powerful.
But sometimes I start to think about how I’m now in my forties and haven’t accomplished very much yet. I begin to rush things sometimes; I am trying to beat a deadline after all.
Fortunately, that deadline isn’t real. This is where my knowledge that I’m also immortal comes into play. When I know that my very essence is at one with the All That Is Everything then I can relax. When I know that some aspect of Joanne continues even after I’m done here as the particular incarnation I can release my anxiety over having to accomplish it all now.
I am both mortal and immortal and this is great news! My mortal deadline helps me stay focused on what it is I’m here to do and knowledge of my immortality lets me relax about what it is I’m here to do. Too much pressure brings burnout and being too relaxed diffuses focus. Knowing both brings balance and hence fulfillment into my life.